Tuesday, May 27, 2014


Nobody stares better than Ken Watanabe, and if you’ve seen Godzilla 2014, then you might have few other questions. The most popular question in my email box is, “Could Smokey handle Godzilla?”

Since the match-up is unlikely to ever happen, we’ll have to deal with this in a hypothetical method.

Godzilla is better known in most circles, so that would give him the hometown favorite advantage. He’s also one of the few creatures around that are bigger than Smokey, and not by just a little. Godzilla is what, like 350 feet tall? He might be a shade over that, depending on the viewing angle of those buildings behind him.

Smokey is roughly 149 feet long with a wingspan of 185 feet. With two heads, one that can breathe fire and the other that breathes out ice, Smokey has options not available to Godzilla. Of course, Godzilla’s no slouch. He’s got that blue-hot lightning breath, but I not sure how much range it has. For certain, it works well in close quarters.

Godzilla’s the master of the water, but I don’t think Smokey would be suckered into taking a dip. Even the MUTO’s in his recent movie didn’t fall for that. Initially, Smokey’s power of flight seems unbeatable, but if you remember, one of those MUTOs could slip the surly bonds well enough to carry a nuclear submarine with it. Godzilla adapted and overcame. Things are looking bad for Smokey, but don’t count him out yet.

Smokey was there in all three books of The Chronicles of Susah series. He saves her and carries her into battle against the ogres in book one (THE DRAGONEERS), he survives in book two (THE LOST DRAGONEER) to take her back to service, and in book three (THE LAST DRAGONEER) he stays with her all the way to the end. I won’t say anymore so as to not spoil the read but after all of that you’ve got to love Smokey.

As is Godzilla, Smokey’s a good guy who uses discernment in his killing ways. We don’t talk about it much, but sometimes it’s a good thing to kill a bad guy. In this case, we would have two good guys fighting each other; thus, ultimately a good guy would lose. So how would it go?

Smokey is at his greatest lethality is when he’s teamed with three other double-headed flying dragons pulling a fully armed chariot with a qualified crew. Of course, that would not give Godzilla much of a chance. With all things consider, the answer still depends on the rules of engagement.

Using standard Monster v MUTO Agreements (MMA) tournament rules, if Godzilla and Smokey mix it up in Vegas or San Francisco--one-v-one standing amidst the casinos and buildings--there’s a very good chance that Godzilla walks away from a dead Smokey. If, however, Godzilla tries to stand against Smokey when he's part of his dragoneer combat chariot team, using antediluvian steampunk combat tactics, techniques and procedures, which means Godzilla would be engaged with water fusion bombs from between 5000-10,000 feet, then there’s an even better chance that Godzilla’s going to wind up having what’s left of his bones picked clean by seagulls.

So it’s never really the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight that’s allowed to come out of the dog.

Thanks for reading.

Find the book and go read it. You'll be glad you did.

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